Getting Held Back In Kindergarten?
My son kindergarten teacher wants to hold him back
and he does…have some learning trouble which is my fault because i wasn’t very smart during the pregnancy but i don’t want him to have to suffer because of me
he can write his name and he can read a bit.
but she says that he is not ready at all for 1st grade
and maybe it is a bit early…he is 5. but im scared
because he has selective mutism and me and my godparents have worked really hard on getting him to talk. and he talks to the kids in his class! and if they move on and he doesn’t ..then we will have to start all over again. and i don’t want to traumatize him or make him feel unspecial in any way
has anyone else have had their child held back?
what did you do?
do you think there is a way i can move him still?
early schooling is often much more about motor skills than about academics (counter intuitive, isn’t it?)
definitely have a conference with his current teacher. determine why she feels he is not ready for first grade. express your concerns about the importance of his friendships
if her reasons are academic, and you are determined to keep him with his current classmates, see if there is a way to supplement his learning at home or with additional in-school support
if her reasons are developmental, and you agree with her assessment of your son’s social, language, and motor skills, you should trust her advice and send your son to kindergarten again
that said, you can take comfort in the fact that most children don’t start first grade until they are six, and some children (usually boys) even start kindergarten only after turning six. if your son is five, there is no reason to push him so hard – entering kindergarten is about physical development (which can’t be rushed), and if he is repeating kindergarten as a five year old, he is already “ahead” of many boys his age
also – if your son is struggling to feel comfortable with other students, you and the teacher can make good arguments for placing him in either grade next year. (i.e. repeating kindergarten will give him extra time to learn to socialize before he needs to concentrate on academics; moving him to first grade with a group he already knows will keep him feeling comfortable in the school environment.)
Finally, the only way to know for certain where your son stands developmentally would be to overcome the selective mutism. If you haven’t done so already, please seek out a child psychologist (the school may have one) and discuss your son’s personality with this person.
I’m not saying that it will help your son – but I once knew a kindergartener that took medication to treat this issue. The student I knew had not suffered any trauma and had good language skills with his family members. He only had difficulty speaking at school or with strangers, and his family doctor ultimately suggested a pill to boost his social skills in-school until he felt comfortable making conversation on his own.
I would arrange a meeting with your son’s teacher, and the first grade teacher. It may well be more important for him to be with kids who he will talk to at the moment than for him to be at the right academic level for him.
Don’t look on this as whether he should be held back or not. Look on it as trying to get him in the best possible situation for next year.
It’s up to you as the parent, but in my opinion, if the teacher suggested it, then I would listen to her. I also think it’s better to hold them back when they are young and in kindergarten… then say hold them back in 5th or 6th grade. My cousin held her daughter back in kindergarten last year and she did a lot better this year and is ready for first grade next year. She was also young.
I also agree I held my son back also in kindergarten and he is doing a lot better he is in 6th grade now so if I wouldn’t have held him back I think he would be struggling with a lot of things so just remember teachers are qualified to make those type of assumptions
A lot of kids repeat kindergarten, i think in this case he should, he may need more time to learn how to read and write and you don’t want him to fall behind in 1st grade
they might end up moving him up to the next level while he is in kindergarten again once they realize he is just as smart as any other child.
I think you should let him pass but do some homeschooling with him over the summer. Ask his teacher what he needs to work on and work with him during the summer.
I got held back in kindergarten. and i know 2 other people that got held back…I know someone that should have been held back, and they went on and they were way behind the other students…
It’s not a race – far better to get the correct grounding than to be in school where kids can more easily pick on the outliers
i repeated kindergarten why shouldn’t he