I Have Severe Depression (ptsd), Take Meds &. I Am A Stay @ Home Mom. Daughter Is 6 & In Kindergarten.?
I wake up crying everyday wanting to kill myself. I know I Can’t because of damage it may do. Im married to someone no longer have feelings for. He loves me & is committed to relationship. I feel lost, alone, out of control. I am physically/ emotionally unavailable to our daughter. I am unable to play w/ her. I believe I am letting everyone down and wasting everyones time. I have no friends and do not go out. I don’t have anyone to speak w/ & am trapped. Even if I could leave I have nowhere to go. I really just want to kill myself but all this guilt about what I may or may not be doing to my daughter is making me sick. I read how you have to be happy so your kids can be happy but where does that leave the rest of us struggling w/ mental illness? I go for help. It’s not working. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be yelling at my daughter for no reason. She doesn’t deserve this miserable life I am showing her. Somedays are better than others, hit or miss. It’s a nightmare.
I know this is a terrible situation that feels like there is no end. I know this because I went through what you are going through right now. I can tell you that it will get better!
If therapy is not working then change therapists… I went through three before I found one that fit my needs.
If you are feeling suicidal then you need to speak to your doctor about this right away! Some medications can cause this. You may be on the wrong meds! I urge you to speak to your doctor tomorrow!
I would not worry about your marriage at the moment. You may feel differently about your husband when you are not so depressed and you can and will get on top of this depression.
Having a supportive and committed partner can be a real asset to you at the moment and once you are feeling more balanced you may want to try marriage counseling.
One thing that helped me was joining a mommies group. I met a lot of women that had the same struggles as I did and formed friendships that I still have (six years later).
Please speak to you doctor and trust me when I tell you that it will get better.
You need counseling. I know you said you go for help and it’s not working. Perhaps you have the wrong counselor for you. Find another one. You have to get down to the core of your depression and work through it. It will take time and effort. It’s not easy to change, but it’s not impossible. If you really want a better life (as opposed to no life), you have to make 100% effort. And be patient with yourself. Your daughter is not better off without you. She needs you. And she needs you to be the best that you can be for her. You need that for you too.
if you are taking medication it is not working, so go back to your doctor and tell him how it is , This is a terrible state to be in and trust me I do understand. I went through 3 different anti depressents for one to work, so hang in there it will get better, but you know your self there is no over night cure, it all takes time. an if you can get out it will help you even if it is to walk around the block,
Maybe try to get a part-time job while your daughter is in school. First, try a job that is not so important to you so that you will not feel like you are letting anyone down. Staying at home is tough. Hang in there.
Have you tried any medicines. Effexor is a newe medicine out that has proven to help many with depression who have tried other perscriptions to no avail It has helped a lot with a friend of mine. Your family doctor can discuss it with you. It really did not have any side effects except that it is essential to take daily.
You may want to read this article http://nitzitry.notlong.com/ i found, will be useful also has info on different treatments.
Hi- I have battled depression for several years now. I know all about yelling at everyone for no reason and my heart goes out to you. For me personally, I was living a lie. I was trying to fill shoes that never really exsisted. I tried to do all the right things and act a certain way but the harder I tried the worse I felt. It wasnt until I became totally aware of my own mortality that I said “enough of this madness”. When that happend I stopped yelling at all costs, I quit smoking except on special occasions, went back to college, and started my own pt business. I finally feel like i am where I am suppost to be. Going back to college almost caused my husband and I to divorce but as long as everyone is fed, clothed and hugged, if I want something i’ll take it if I have to.
The only time I felt suicidal was on zoloft. I lost my libido and from there I fell into despare.
Check you meds. It takes many trys before you get the right one for you. Then when your properly treated start reading self help books and learn about yourself and why you do things you do. It is all a long process so hang in there and above all if you need to be pissed for no reason by a goldfish and flush it, don’t take it out on your daughter. Children who are emotionally abuse are far more likely to have adult depression.
Sorry this was so long but it is a topic near and dear.
some times the meds don,t work, there is other meds, there is effexor they go up to300mg,s, i can see your daughter is your only reason for living,It,s sounds like you are needing to get a divorce, also find a another man, or try to remember why you fell in love with the man you marred, but you need to remember that life has a reason for every thing, i had a friend that lives on her own, also she is disable as well. why don,t you let your husband take care of your little girl?, he has the ability to take care of her, also you can have joint custody,also you can move out, and start a now life you may have rails to help you my friend has rails for the toilet and the bath tub, you could look for a man on life mates.com.i think you little girl will understand your limitation, when she grows up. she wouldn,t like it if you killed your self. that would be letting her down. so you should get some like a counsellor can find a solution for your problem, that,s what they are there for.the net is a great why to find friends all you need is some ones e-mail, like here in the answer and question all you need is to write down do you what to be my pen-pal or e-mail friend i,m shore peter will say yes and they will give you there e-mail jest tell the how old you are and people will decide, that all it takes like i can be your friend i 37years old if that helps, my e-mail is inuyasha_1969@yahoo.com there now you have one friend see how easy it could be?why don,t you hang out at a rec,center or jest the mall, there lots to do at the rec.center and there,s lots of stuff to look at the mall, i have no kid but i sponcer a world vishion child, that make people happy and feel they have something to live for. if you have true night mares then you will need seroquel 25mg,s i take 3 at night.
Tell your doctor, try some different meds.
It sounds to me like you are feeling insecure and guilty about something. Probably something to do with the post-trauma. You have to do things to raise your self esteem. Nobody is worthless. There are a lot of things you can contribute to society. You could volunteer, give back to those less fortunate than you. Try joining a support group for depression or PTSD. Im sure you still love your husband somewhere in there, you just hate yourself so much you feel like you don’t deserve him. Do some things that will make you feel better about YOU. Let your daughter get involved too if you want to. Keep going to counseling.
http://www.volunteermatch.org
if you are suffering just because your husband doesn’t love you anymore well, think of a better than solution because killing yourself will not help you and your family.just think of the consequences…there are other ways to divert your sadness…you can just concentrate on taking care of your kid,you may also participate in civic organizations,you may engage in sports or you may want to be active in church activities.there are several ways to do in order for you to cope with your problem..it’s not yet the end of the world my dear…please think of those people who love you….if you really can’t count on your husband then ask help or advice from relatives,friends, parish priest or even from professionals(psychiatrist/psychologist) so as to better help you with your problem.i tell you committing suicide is really not the answer because i had a relative who has committed suicide and it was really bad…until now we are still asking why does he have to do that…it was very painful…so please think of your daughter….the impact it might bring to her or to your family….it’s not forever that you suffer from that problem…think positively because there’s a wonderful life ahead of you my friend.God be with you!!!!!!!
My prayers are with you….Check this link out.
take up yoga. get some more advice from different doctors on the meds you may be taking. perhaps its as simple as some excercise and a change or adding certain foods to your usual eating habits. start imagining some other woman raising your child if you are gone, start imagining what your daughter would think about your suicide…maybe she might blame herself, maybe she will feel that she cant cope with life either, maybe your husband will find someone really great and yeah its best that you left this life? quit thinking about yourself cuz no matter what you have said above …it really feels like youre a big ol’ baby…that’s how depression does…makes a person very self centered instead of self sacrificing. take the ‘I’ out of everything youre feeling and put the word ‘the new me’ is going to do this today, and this tomorrow. make a list of things to do. the things you normally do in a day. like say, make dinner, fold clothes, vacuum. then cross them off. tell yourself that is an accomplishment and why did you do it? cuz your job is to feed the family, present clean clothes and a clean environment.
taking care of people, neglecting yourself some is typical of mothers but we’ve been doing it forever. on your daily list, make sure that there are things on there that you have done for yourself. excercised, took a long bath, got a haircut, bought a sexy jammies or painted your toes. ask your hubby to bring you tea or take care of your daughter while you enjoy an invigorating massage. sit outside and feel the sun on you or go to a tanning booth…not for a tan, but for the healthy feel from it and its very meditative. sit and read to your daughter some classic book you remember you liked as a child. discuss with her your funnies as a kid and make her laugh. make lots of eye contact with your loved ones and hug them often. peace girl
I suffer from some form of depression or anxiety ….not quite sure what it is yet….I have tried paxil Cr for it but it hasn’t worked at all even though we kept upping my dose. I never felt like killing myself but there were days where I’d just want to sleep all day. I’m very irritable and yell alot. I just can’t sit and play with my kids because I was always worrying…worrying about cleaning etc etc etc….I would definitely tell my doctor about this and tell him/her that you seriously need help. I sure hope you’re telling your doctor everything. You need to let them know every detail so they can treat what you have. Don’t ever think that your llife has no worth. You are worth everything to your daughter and family. I really hope you can get through this and find someway to help you just as I hope I can too. I am in search of something that will help me live a happier life for my children. Good Luck and Take Care!
Umm… this depression thing: stop it. Work yourself out of it. Life is magical if you take the time to notice it instead of focusing on your own ego. We all focus on ourselves too much, but when you start feeling miserable, you’re way too wound up in yourself.
There’s a bazillion little life forms of millions of varieties all filling little niches in the most complex ways, and that’s just on this one little planet in this unimaginably huge cosmos. It’s so big and so small that you cannot take it all in. It’s friggin’ amazing. We have to tune it out just to not be stuck in non-stop awe all the time. So tune into it and tune out form thinking about yourself for a while. It’s like a vacation from making your problems seem worse than they are.
Sucks don’t it!
rkilburn4 is on the right track,
It took more than 1 try by my Dr. to get it right.
I’m on Mirtazapine ‘generic’
Saved me from myself.
Best of luck to you,
Please don’t ever give up no matter how bad it gets!
Please,Please, don’t ever give up!!!!