Should I Retain My Daughter In Kindergarten Or Move Her To 1st Grade?
My daughter has severe anxiety at school and possibly selective mutism. Shes been having problems in K because of it and the teacher wants to know if they should leave her in K or move her to first. It’s up to us. Teacher says that she doesn’t comprehend what she reads and the pace will be too fast for her in 1st. She will probably be in special ed. either way, although do you think if we leave her in K we should leave her in general ed? Because of her anxiety, she doesn’t answer the teacher’s questions most of the time or even talk to her or the other kids. We are trying to get her therapy over the summer to deal with it. The school doesn’t understand her anxiety and they think she is learning disabled although she can do most of the work at home with no problem. The teacher wants to know by tomorrow and I don’t know what to tell them.
Anxiety is not a reason to hold a child back. Also DO NOT let the school label your child as learning disabled or anything else because she will never shake the label or stigma that comes with it later.
If she can do the work fine then there is no reason to hold her back.Talk to your pediatrician about social anxiety disorder and see if there is something they can prescribe for kids to help with this. It will do her a world of good if they can and it is more common than people think- even in adults.
Get her into a program to help with the things she may have some trouble with a few days a week, even through the school year. I’m sure she’ll do fine, especially if you work with her over the summer.
Let’s say that you move to China and you enroll in Kindergarten. You don’t speak the language, so all year, you don’t understand what the teacher is telling you. You feel anxious and stupid. At the end of the year, you re-enroll in Kindergarten and…will your experience change?
Probably not. Re-enrolling a child in a grade without addressing the underlying problems won’t solve anything. Unless they can *really* resolve her problems in counseling this summer, I can’t see the benefit of just having her do the same thing over and over again and not understand it every time. She’ll just feel more anxious and more stupid every day until this is resolved.
I will consider that she goes to the 1st grade. Her anxiety maybe from that she could be scared to associate with her peers. Give her some metal evaluation and you can give her reading and social skills over the summer. GOOD LUCK :9
Hmm…I’d most likely keep her in kindergarten, especially if she can be put in a collab. class. I think getting her assessed and getting her an IEP would be the absolute best thing for her. She may be a little delayed or it may just be anxiety, but either way, resource time (special ed work/class/time) will help.
*ETA – The poster below me is incorrect. Children can and do “graduate” from Special Ed. There are so many children getting resource services, the rest of the children don’t care. No one is made fun of at my school for it.
Tell them you are putting her in therapy over the summer for her anxiety, you will work with her on her reading and other academic skills as well and after that you will make your decision. Before the next school year starts, but towards the end of the summer. No matter what they say, you DO NOT need to decide this tomorrow. They can easily fit her into either grade towards the end of the summer. Same as if she just moved to the district and was a new student. If the teacher gives you a problem then go to the principal. If they give you a problem, keep climbing the ladder of the school’s administration. Get her evaluated for services at the school too. She may be able to go to 1st grade with some support services.
Tell the teacher not to rush you, they are able to make switches through August so asking for time to ponder this should be respected. If they need to know to set up their new program…tell them to pencil you in for “Yes” until you have had her evaluated by a third party. You have so many choices, but do you think you can make a decision without her being properly evaluated and getting the results first? Another source of input is your daughter’s opinion, ask it – you may be surprised.
You may also want to enroll her in other activities that may boost her confidence and leadership, such as girl scouts or sports team/swim team or karate, and maybe even music/drama where she can be someone else for a bit.
They held my husband back, and he feels it really helped him. I know a few kids from high school that were a little older than us but they always excelled very well.
I suppose its better to give her time to develop a little more than have her ALWAYS behind. Maybe this summer she can fully learn after a little bit of therapy. If she needs even more time, that’s fine. People learn all at a different pace.
She is smart, but it sounds like she’s having emotional difficulties coping with school. I don’t think she needs to be in Special-Ed. She just needs a pediatric counselor that is friendly, and kind to help her.
Tell the teacher you need a little more time. That’s inappropriate to know by tomorrow.
I might hold her back.